Memo genre review thingy
1) http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/5381/34825 7/1/2003
Haha! I get it. It's a memo about a memo. That's so damn clever!
2) See, it's a memo describing how to properly write a memo. It's written in memo format and everything. Isn't that great? It's pretty generic, but c'mon, that's like writing a letter about a letter only funnier. This "how to" is a little too formal for most memos sent nowadays. I guess if you worked at a small company owned and operated by very old, senile men, you would need to use their advice.
3) "Style: Use strong, active verbs, personal pronouns, and vocabulary appropriate for your audience. Be as concise as possible; your readers are busy and are more likely to read concise documents."
4) "Use a courtesy title (Mr., Miss, Mrs., Ms., Dr.) before the recipient's name and a job title after it to help in routing and filing the memo" Maybe, if you're British.
5) A very generic memo "how to" nothing special here. Except... It's a memo, about a MEMO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

1) http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/pw/p_memo.html 7/1/2003
2) This one is pretty good. It mentions some things to think about when writing memos. I especially like how it gives the option of a summary segment. If someone was very long winded, or just really loved to type, the summary segment would be a good idea. Also, near the bottom of the page, it says you should attach relevant materials. What a good idea!
3) Memos have one purpose in life: as the authors of Business Writing Strategies and Samples put it, "Memos solve problems." (They can also create problems.)
4) Nothing bad to say about this one. I especially like the memos about reducing rat parts in their product. I giggled.
5) I think everyone else reviewed this site as well. I feel like such a tool.
1) http://adresnet.com/memo.html 7/1/2003
2) This one is short, but it's all right a far as "guidelines" go. It's structured for written "memorandums." Jesus, I'd almost forgot that "memo" is an abbreviation. It just gives bullet points on how you should keep it brief. Yeah. That's a good tip.
3) The memo should contain an introduction (statement of purpose for the memo), body (detail, definition or explanation of the action or event) and conclusion (summary, action required or result).
4) Memos should always be written on company stationery. If stationery is not available, type the company name approximately one inch from the top of the page and directly below it type either "Interoffice Memorandum", "Memorandum" or simply "Memo".
5) This site isn't super instructional, I wouldn't recommend it. But it's not overly stupid either.
1) http://www.msu.edu/course/abm/222/2003_Spring/Memo1.htm 7/1/2003
2) I'm not sure if this memo is written by a Nazi or what. He's so damn strict. It's kind of crazy how obsessed he is with memo format. I would fail this man's class so fast. He keeps spouting off like an army instructor: "YOU MUST ALWAYS DO THIS, YOU MUST ALWAYS DO THAT." I sense some sexual dysfunction in his writing voice.
3) Be sure to include a "Thank You" statement and a sentence similar to, "If you have any further questions, you can contact me at _____________."
4) However, it is essential that you write your initials after your name in the "From:" section as shown above.
5) This man scares me. I'm so glad to not have him as a teacher. He's all about writing hardcore memo. I can tell this guy wasn't held enough as an infant. He needs to discover "the e-mail" and how incredibly informal messages can truly be. In the words of Scott Adams, "It's about communication, not conveying information."

1) Lannon, John M., Technical Communication. Longman: 2002, New York City

2) This memo "how to" addresses the area of tone and what not to write in one's memo. It says how you should try to avoid sounding negative and whiny in the memo. It also says how you should try to send the memo to everyone who might give a damn because people get pissed when they're the last to know.

3) "Memos, the major form of internal written communication in organizations, leave a paper trail for future reference." (Be careful what you write)

4) "Before releasing any memo designed to influence people's thinking, review Chapter 4 carefully."

5) This book seems to know what it's talking about. Sure, it was scary at first, when the book started talking to me. But after a while, just like whenever any inanimate object strikes up a conversation with me, we became fast friends and have plans for the weekend. The books emphasis on tone and etiquette is something that was lacking with the online examples.

Cover letter review fun
Response to Ad.
http://www.jobweb.com/Resources/Library/Samples/Sample_Cover_Letter_70_01.htm
1.What is the exact name of the audience?
Mr. Gerard Berger.
How much can you determine from the letter about what this person does?
He is the Manager of Human Resources for Allen Investments Inc.
2.What is the purpose of each paragraph?
1st shows interest, specifies position, and mentions where saw job advertised.
2nd shows skills, education, specific areas of study
3rd once again says, "Hey, we're a perfect match."
3.What is the major accomplishment or characteristic the person has chosen to highlight? Amy mostly talks about her relevant studies and her recent internship.
4.Does the writer make their main appeal via logic, credibility, or emotion? How have you determined this?
She seems to emphasize credibility by talking about all her classes pertaining to the position.
5.How often does the writer address their audience?
Three times.
How well do you think they know this potential employer?
Not at all
6.How would you have improved this letter?
She should have talked about her responsibilities at the internship.

Unsolicited
http://susanireland.com/coverlettersamples6.1.htm

1.What is the exact name of the audience?
Harold C. Freedman.
How much can you determine from the letter about what this person does?
He's the CEO and he probably doesn't have time to read cover letters.
2.What is the purpose of each paragraph?
1st says exactly what she thinks she can do for Harry.
2nd bullets her relevant skills (damn, 4 languages?)
3rd mentions how she knows their fiscal year is ending and she can get the job done. Heather did her homework.
4th -I'll call YOU, Bee-otch!
3.What is the major accomplishment or characteristic the person has chosen to highlight? 4 languages! She's either super experienced, or really good at lying. 4 languages! Has closed other contracts really well. 4 languages! The big ones!
4.Does the writer make their main appeal via logic, credibility, or emotion? How have you determined this?
Credibility, did I mention the big four languages? Fluent speaking and writing. She's done this job before.
5.How often does the writer address their audience? Quite often.
How well do you think they know this potential employer?
She probably spied on him a little.
6.How would you have improved this letter?
I would have written it in the other big three just to show off.

Referal
http://susanireland.com/coverlettersamples1.1.htm

1.What is the exact name of the audience?
Harold Lewis.
How much can you determine from the letter about what this person does?
He's the CEO.
2.What is the purpose of each paragraph?
1st says that Harry's got a spy working for him, Edwin Franks.
2nd suggest "a new system of financial analysis that can make a tremendous improvement in the way you evaluate profitability in the long run." This sounds like creative accounting to me. Not a good idea.
3rd is kind of asking if Edwin's said anything like he told Bob he was going to. That's just funny.
4th -Don't worry, Edwin didn't tell me too much. Please don't fire him.
5th-Lets the CEO know that he's willing to skip out on his current job to interview for a new job.
3.What is the major accomplishment or characteristic the person has chosen to highlight? What the hell is a "first aid kit"? wink wink
4.Does the writer make their main appeal via logic, credibility, or emotion? How have you determined this?
I think Bob is really trying to appeal to the bosses mild sexual interest in Edwin. Then again, I could just be reading too deeply into this...
5.How often does the writer address their audience? Often.
How well do you think they know this potential employer?
Bob's heard about him through Edwin.
6.How would you have improved this letter?
Not have it sound incriminating.

Resume Genre Review
Thanks be to Jamie. Praise her in the highest.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/pw/p_ressample.html

While, yes, visually and mildly sexually pleasing, this resume contains no previous work history. I always think it's funny when anyone lists volunteer work on a resume; it screams, "I will work for very little or no pay whatsoever!"

http://www.adventuresineducation.org/highschool/hs_splresume.cfm

She probably could have combined the two yearbook bullets together as well as merging the school newspaper stuff. She seems qualified, and she might work for free! P.S. Summer interns are HOT.

http://ucdavis.placementmanual.com/resume/resume-19.html

Oh man, this one was so great until I got to the interests and hobbies part. Then I thought, "Travel? Who gives a damn?" Not I. Nevertheless, the centered, all caps bold heading kinda turned me on.

http://www.collegeview.com/career/careersearch/job_profiles/edu/tch10.html

Boring. I'd expect more from someone with a master's. I appreciate the equal emphasis of "Teach eighth grade general science" and "Advise the astronomy club." Personally, I would also use the present tense "teaches, advises, etc," instead of the commands "teach, advise." It makes her sound like a cavewoman.

http://www.careers.ucr.edu/Students/CareerPlanning/Education/resume.html

She should've used an objective like "get a job" or "do anything." That would've been just a vaugue and twice as funny. I like the idea of having an "other work experience" line if the applicant has had a lot of jobs that aren't particularly relevant.

http://resume.monster.com/restips/sales/sucessstory/sampleresume/

I honestly think the person who wrote this is a robot. On a completely unrelated note: There should have been a hobo on Sesame St. or at least a prostitute. Drug dealer perhaps?

http://resume.monster.com/restips/technology/sucessstory/sampleresume/

I understand this is a sample resume. However, listing one's ideal company is a little weird. "Bachelor number one, what would be your ideal job?"

http://resume.monster.com/restips/hr/sucessstory/sampleresume/

Ron, they did the "perfect company" listing thing again. I'm going to go cry now. Okay, I'm back. I must never apply with monster.com. I don't think I've ever seen a 7 ? page resume completely devoid of content. Wow.


Action verbs:
Played
Establishing
Managing
Reporting
Introduced
Recognized
Seeking
Composed
Edited

After reading the resumes so graciously supplied by Jamie, I have a new found sense of confidence. The way I see it, if I can put together a half-decent resume, it will be exalted by the hoards of sub-English drivel spewing from the pages of monster.com and other services that "help people find jobs(?)" Wouldn't it be amazing to have a resume with actual content that simultaneously looked good?

Hello, Bruce.
Once upon a time, there was a fairy prince who lived in the enchanted forest of a magical world far, far away. His name was Bruce. Bruce spent most of his days skipping, prancing, sashaying, and making out with other fairy princes. One morning, Bruce awoke next to a strange, yet dashing, young man whom he did not recognize. "Gee, I must have used too much magical smack last night at the fairy club," Bruce thought to himself. Quietly, Bruce gathered up his patent leather catsuit he wore during the previous night's drag show and tiptoed out of the strange man's apartment. The following day, Bruce was shopping for mesh tanktops with his buddies, Antonio and Damien when Antonio asked Bruce, "Can I borrow your glass slippers tonight for the wet tighty-whitey contest at the club?" Bruce froze, "Shit. I must've left them at that strange, yet dashing man's apartment. Dammit, those were my favorite glass slippers. You can just borrow my jellies." Later that night, at the club, Bruce was gettin' his groove on with a handsome young man when Damien brought something to his attention, "Hey, isn't that the guy you were getting down with a couple nights ago?" Sure enough, there he was, forcing one of the glass slippers onto random fairy princes. While some found it mildly erotic, most disliked the sensation of a man trying to force any footwear upon them. Suddenly, one of the fairies yelled, "FOOT RAPE!" causing several gigantic, angry gay bouncers to forcefully remove the strange, yet dashing young man from the club and beat him senseless in the parking lot. "I guess we don't have to worry about him anymore," said Antonio, "Want some smack?"
THE END

If I last another ten years...
Ten years from now I will live in an elaborate, four-bedroom, three-and-a-half-bath treehouse built from sticks, twine, and various shiny objects. After years of separation, Mr. Bo-bo and I will by reunited on a special edition of Maurry Povich concerning unhealthy relationships between helper monkeys and their previous owners. I will switch careers by resigning from hermitism and pursue intimate relations with rich old ladies. This will prove to be lucrative and surprisingly enjoyable. I will the wisdom gained from the elderly babes and start a fashion company dedicated to the elderly. The clothing lines will include the most chic sweatpants available as well as a variety of enormous dark sunglasses. After some "creative accounting," the company will fall apart hours after I sell all my stock. Thank god for insider trading. I will enroll into several post-grad programs offered by the University of Phoenix online, taking 167 credit hours per semester. I will be known as Rev. Dr. Christopher "CJ" Matthews Ph.D. DDS. Md. PhDx2. I will insist upon being addressed by my full name, titles included, at all times.

Skills and stuff and junk...June 9
Retail Sales/Customer Service-Sears
Sears taught me the value of customer-oriented business practices while maintaining a company focus. I learned the crucial balance between efficiency and customer care. More than two years of face-to-face personalized assistance with a wide variety of customers left me with a deep appreciation of patience and professionalism.

Collections/Account Services
Over-the-phone account handling of various private label credit cards showed me the importance of client awareness while speaking with customers in regards to their personal finances. A calm, but resolute, problem-solving mindset was required to perform my job well. GE's Six Sigma quality requirements stressed the value of excellence on every call.

Group work/Team Projects
High School and College incorporated numerous group projects that helped me develop a further understanding of sharing responsibilities and resolving differences in opinion. Brainstorming, delegating authorities, assigning projects, status updates, and meeting deadlines were all integral parts of my teamwork experiences.

Gettin' my blog on...Jun 5
I want to meet Josh Allen.
My guess is that "Josh Allen" is an alter ego created by some incredibly smart, remarkably funny guy who might have a little too much time on his hands. I'll go ahead and call "Josh" by his real name: Ron Scott. It seems Ron is trying to perform some kind of experiment by asking us if we'd hire "Josh". While I would never trust "Josh" with a fork, let alone any business matter. I think it would be fun to hang out sometime. I, myself, have an alter ego that simply goes by "C.J". C.J. dreams of someday piloting a mechanical rhinoceros across the Atlantic Ocean.

Lynda.com: who goes here?
No. I'm serious. While it's nice that someone's taken it upon themselves to create another website that sells books and gives links to related sites, I can't imagine Lynda.com makes any money. The website itself is, well, boring. Amazon.com is a much nicer and reputable alternative with a wider selection and more helpful links. I don't think I'll ever go back to Lynda.com.

AEMs@GECF R F-U-N
All employee meetings at GECF are always lots of corporate fun for everyone. However, the fact that I get paid to sit and let the big dogs talk while I do nothing prevents me from complaining too much. The meetings generally have roughly five hundred people sitting in the cafeteria pretending to understand the statistics displayed on the huge monitors. The meetings always remind me of high school assemblies. Last Thursday's meeting began at 5:30 P.M. and lasted about an hour. And executive named Bob presented first quarter results highlighting goals that were met and explaining those that were not. Some awards were given; I happened to receive one. GE gives out awards for remembering to put the toilet seat down, so I didn't feel very special. I had my picture taken with our site leader after the meetings before returning to my glorious job.

Diversity: here to stay? gone tomorrow?
"Even if affirmative action is dismantled, diversity in the workplace is here to stay."
Affirmative action has its merits; I understand the initiative behind this legislation. And, yes, diversity in the workplace will never go away because it's become integrated into the culture of so many companies. Also, the process of diversifying the workplace would be almost impossible to reverse. In the corporate world, diversity has become a virtue that exists independent of affirmative action legislation. My workplace has a diversity council with a slogan that states, "Embrace every difference in every person."

Five Year Projection
By 2008:

As designated in Alfred Nobel's will, I shall receive the Nobel literature prize for being the person who "shall have produced in the field of literature the most outstanding work in an ideal direction" for my contributions to "How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse for Dummies". With the prize money, I will open my very own Shoebox Repair Emporium to serve the needs of North Canton's small, but prominent, group of citizens with broken/torn shoeboxes in need of a little TLC. The immediate success of the store will lead me to open a Toothbrush Restoration Shop downtown that will specialize in late model Oral-B devices. Unfortunately, due to anti-trust laws, my stores will be shut down, ending my monopoly and forcing me to raise alpacas in my backyard. I will live alone, wasting my afternoons studying old Mcgyver reruns and spending most of my evenings locked in the basement, writing angry letters to the government under the light of a naked bulb hanging by a wire from the ceiling. Mr. Bo-bo, my helper monkey and only companion, will assist me in caring for the alpacas, feeding them, shaving them, slaughtering them, etc. Eventually, however, we will run out of alpacas to eat and Mr. Bo-bo will leave in search of a new home. The tide will turn after I register my patent for the solar powered ballpoint pen and begin mass production. Fame and fortune will likely result from this great contribution to mankind leaving me, yet again, a social outcast.